It's always greener on the other side...not always...

A few weeks ago at a school party one of the Mom's asked me, "Did you go back to work?" I said, "Oh, yeah, I've been back to work for 3 years now but I only work in the office from 9am - 3pm and I also work from home." Her response was, "that is GREAT, I would LOVE to get out of the house and have hours like that and see other adults"!

Really?

Oh, I forgot to mention that she is a stay at home Mom to 4 kids and has always "seemed" like that is the life she adored. Maybe not.

Why do we want what other people have?

When I was working full-time after Kobe was born, all I could think about was staying at home with him. Well, I got to do that (for 4 years) until he started Kindergarten. For the most part, I really liked being a stay at home mom except for the strapped finances and the isolation. It wasn't the leisurely, carefree life that I had envisioned by any stretch! But it was a special time with Kobe that I am thankful that I got to experience. I did get out and meet other stay-at-home Moms (mostly through Kobe's parent co-op preschool) and that helped a lot with accepting where I was in my life at that time.

If I had known about blogging and if I had been able to see what other SAHM's across the country (and the world) were doing with their time at home it would have made all the difference for me.

However, guess what? About 2-3 years into the SAHM gig I started thinking about going back to work. Now, keep in mind that finances played a big role in this but there was something else too. I needed to have something that was all my own. A start and end to a project. A place to be everyday. You see, I just wasn't content to be home all of the time. What does this say about me and my role as a mother? I don't know. I LOVE my kids and I want to spend as much time with them as possible but I needed something else too.

I heard a quote once from the t.v. show, Judging Amy. Did you ever watch that? I loved that show! Anyway, there was an episode about Mom's working vs. staying at home and Maxine (Tyne Daly) says something like, " The best thing I ever did for my kids was go to work."

This quote is totally out of context, but the conversation was something like Maxine felt that she was a better mother when she was working. I kind of feel like that too. I feel stressed out a lot because I don't have time to the homemaking tasks that I do really enjoy, but overall I'm a better mother and I actually spend more quality time with the kids when I'm working outside the home. What I mean is that after working all day, I'm really ready to see them and hear what they've been doing all day and hang out with them. We have some really great evenings.

This is a REALLY controversial topic in some circles. I'm not trying to be controversial at all. This conversation I had at the school party just made me realize that we all do sometimes want what other people have and it's NOT always greener on the other side of the fence. I've been on both sides now and I can honestly say that there are pros and cons to both.

Right now, at this point in my life I'm better off working.

Being Busy...

Grandpa West told me once I should be thankful for being busy. He's right! I should be thankful that I'm able to work...able to care for the kids...able to care for the house.

Somedays it just seems like it's too much though.

Get up at 5am...pour the coffee...turn on the computer...check email...work on CWP projects...read devotional/journal...throw in a load of laundry...pay a bill or two...THEN around 7:30am the kids wake up...get them ready for school and me ready for work...eat a breakfast bar on the way to school...Drop the kids off at school, run to the bank or grocery store in the 20 minutes I have before I have to be at work...work until Kobe gets out of school...run out of the office to pick up Kyler and then to pick up Kobe...make phone calls in the 10-15 minutes I have while waiting for Kobe at school...drop books off at the library...drop mail off at the post office...drive home...sort through the mail...pick up the mess Pat left from the day...start dinner...unload the dishwasher...look through Kobes backpack with him...help him with homework...eat dinner...clean up from dinner...swiffer the floor...load the dishwasher...start another load of laundry...start the baths...clean the bathroom while the boys are taking baths...get the PJ's on...try to get them to slow down to read a book or watch a show...rock...rock...put Kyler to bed...Kobe already fell asleep on the couch...It's 9:30pm already...walk him to bed...put laundry away..okay..truthfully...the clean laundry may sit in a basket at the foot of my bed until Saturday..then I have like 8 loads to put away..okay to continue...unload the dishwasher (again)...balance the checkbook.. then Thomas Cleaning bookwork...invoices or receipts or check entry...check email and facebook...read...fall asleep in the chair...go to bed...do it all over the next day...

I am thankful...just tired...

Somedays I just long to be a Stay at Home Mom again...to have the luxury of doing the housework during the day so that I can focus on the kids when they are at home. I get irritated when Stay-at-Home Moms talk about how busy they are. Now, I was one and I know how hard it is to get things done when you have kids at your feet all day and the isolation is almost unbearable sometimes. Sometimes those two things alone would keep me from getting anything done. However, now that I've done both, being a SAHM is so much easier!! You have so much free time if you make the most of it! Most of the time I really like working and I wouldn't really want to go back to staying home full-time...but there are those days...this working and being a Mom thing is just a delicate balance...sometimes I'm really great at it and I'm successful in my work life and my home life. Then there are times, like now, when I feel like I'm running full speed just to catch up.

I don't know what the answer is except that that I keep going and try to be positive and grateful that I have a job and two great kids and that I'm BUSY!