There's a Chill in the Air...

Whew...those last two posts were a bit on the heavy side...even for me. Let's move on to something a little more fun! It's chilly today and I'm in the mood for some comfort...

It's a perfect day for some leftover Baked Ziti. I made this last night and it was a hit with all the boys.  It was an easy weeknight meal and next time I'm going to double the recipe and freeze.  The only change I made to the recipe was adding cream cheese and omitting the sour cream.  It's what I had on hand and it worked great.

Next on my list is grabbing one of these when I'm out today.  It's really on my list folks...and yes I have a problem...I'm aware of it.  It's a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks. 

And finally, my Mom is coming to spend the weekend!  I'm looking forward to seeing her and snagging some goodies on our little road-trip to the best store in Missouri, Randolph Mercantile!  Here is a sampling of what we might see tomorrow...

 

Have a great weekend!

Until Next Time,

Jackie

Knowing Who My Father Is...Part 2

And so the story continues.  To read the part 1 click here.

Forgiveness.

Forgiveness was a conscious choice.  It didn't come easy for me but it did come...about 10 years ago.  I had to forgive my Dad to move on in my journey.  If I didn't forgive him I would have been stuck...stalled...and bitter.  Corrie ten Boom says it best,  "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you."

For me, forgiveness was deciding that I couldn't change the past or change who my Dad was.  What I could do was accept the facts and move forward.  Forgiveness was part of the journey and took a long time before it was settled in my heart.  Forgiveness is what has helped me to be grateful for my experiences and to know that those experiences have shaped who I am today. 


Finding my true Father.  My Heavenly Father.


In the middle of the worst times of my journey...in the early years...I decided that there had to be something more than what I was feeling.  I kept searching and I found my Heavenly Father.  I didn't have a conversion experience.  I made a decision and decided to trust that there must be something more out there.  My faith came alive as I studied and prayed and my relationship with God flourished.  It continues to this day. 

After I examined my feelings of sadness that day that I had lunch with my friend, I was reminded that I have a Father who loves me.  That father is God. 

My earthly father...my Dad...may not be what I would hope for and that's okay.   God desires a relationship with me and that's all I need.

I also know that my Heavenly Father is my Strength (Isaiah 12:2), my Guide (Proverbs 3:6), my Counselor (Psalm 16:7) and my Strong Tower (Proverbs 18:10).  Just as a Father should be.

Until Next Time,
Jackie

*photo courtesy of flickr.com

Knowing Who My Father Is...Part 1

"Heavenly Father, You are my Restorer.  You restore all that has been taken, destroyed, devoured, or lost from my life"  (Adapted from Psalm 23:3)

As my friend Julie and I sat down to lunch a few weeks ago, she began telling me that she had met her Dad for coffee earlier that morning.  They'd had a nice, long chat and he had helped her with a decision she needed to make about a house repair.  She was full of love for her Dad and was thankful he is in her life today.  As she was telling me about her morning I felt a tug on my heart.  I dismissed the feeling.  I wasn't even sure what it was.  We went on with our lunch and had an enjoyable time, as usual.  On my way back to work I realized what the feeling was...what the tug on my heart meant...it was Sadness.  I was surprised at this feeling because I came to terms years ago about the relationship (or lack thereof) I have with my Dad.  I'll probably never be able to call him to meet me for coffee or to ask his advice about something.  I haven't written much about my Dad on this blog...on purpose.  There really isn't much to say.  As I grew into adult-hood 20+ years ago I began my journey of figuring out who I was...in spite of who my father was...and what he had led me to believe about myself.  That journey was hard in the early years.  I had to come to terms with shame, self image, sadness, anger and many other emotions.

I haven't spoken more than a handful of words to my Dad in the last 5 years.  I did see him at my Grandmothers funeral earlier this year and you can read about that here.  I can't say what my Dad's life is like now.  I can't tell you where he lives or if he is even alive.  I can tell you what I know about him from my past.  He could strike up a conversation with just about anyone.  He was an entrepreneur.  He was a gardener.  He was was also an Alcoholic, Abusive, Manipulative and a Master of Mind Control.

Those are the facts.

I don't write them here to slander my Dad.  I write them so you understand where I come from and why I had to take that journey to...Knowing Who My Father is...

We all have stories and I invite you to share one of mine.  Stay tuned for Part 2.

*Photo courtesy of flickr.com