I'm 41 years old. I'm Confident. I've made peace with my choices. I like my life. But. I'm human and a woman. It's hard to live up to the standard of beauty our culture demands. The standard is slightly different now as a woman in my 40's than it was for me as a 20 year old. But the standard is still there. You must look Young...Hip...Cute.
Enter Facebook.
Facebook is Good in so many ways and Bad in so many others.
Now to the Bad. Facebook can be a time waster to the extreme. It can also cut little notches into your self esteem. A large majority of my Facebook friends are people I knew more than 15 years ago and haven't seen many of them for at least that amount of time. I will sometimes open up a profile and start looking at their photos and realize they don't look any different than they did...say...20 years ago.
But...I do!
20 years have gone by...2 kids...a few extra pounds. Okay...more than a few extra pounds. I look different.
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| Me in 1987 - Prom Night |
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| Me - August 2010 |
On more than a few occasions after reconnecting with a former friend or co-worker I've had to remind myself of my own worth. My own beauty. Not in a self-centered way, but in a way to remind myself that I'm not going back to that young girl that I once was. That is OK! I like myself now. I like being 41. I'm proud of my accomplishments and the person that I've become.
What I know is that comparisons are a waste of my time. My purpose in this life is bigger than small thinking like comparing my looks, social status and bank account to other people
When these negative thoughts start creeping in and trying to crowd out the more positive and productive thoughts I have a checklist of questions I ask myself.
Is it True? ...Is what I'm thinking true or am I second guessing myself?
Is it Noble?...Is this thought dignified? Is it something I should be thinking about myself as a child of God?
It it Lovely?...Is this thought gracious or is it a critical thought?
And finally a scripture that I carry with me in my index card binder (more on this important tool later)
Philippians 4:8
"Finally brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - think these things."
If you struggle with this issue like I have. Be encouraged. You are not alone.
And...
There Could Never Be A More Beautiful You.
Chorus of
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
What a post, you don't know how close to home it hits.
ReplyDeleteYou see this is the year of my
50th high school class reunion. The high school I attended my last 3 years did not have a reunion (Thank god I guess)
However I went to JC High through my freshmen year. They had a reunion. One of my good friends kept me up to date on everyone through a FACEBOOK page and videos. OMG, that guy looks old, so does that girl, and that one. Do I really look like that?
Guyess all we need do is look in the mirror.
Too funny! thanks for sharing
Amen, Jackie! And just wait until you turn 5-0 ;) Some excellent points we all need to remember. and, p.s. your profile pic is beautiful :) -Tammy
ReplyDeleteI loved this post.
ReplyDeleteI think you are beautiful.
Celebrate you!
Hugs from Missouri~
Carrie
Beautifully written. I couldn't agree with you more!! Thank you for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteMmmmmmmmmm, do you believe all of those Facebook "I'm-the-same" sort of photos? -wrinkles nose-
ReplyDeleteBut that aside, hang on to your Wisdom. Nurture it. Believe me, you will need it, more and more, as time passes. We need to always know, we are fine, just as we are.
Gentle hugs...
I'm 41 also. And I am loving my 40's so far. It's just a number, am I'm 100 pounds over my HS weight. Life is GOOD.
ReplyDeleteOh Jackie! THANK YOU for being YOU and for being HONEST! None of us looks like we did the day we graduated from high school. NOBODY! I have been out of high school for 28 years. I am 46 years old and PROUD OF IT! I probably weigh 25 pounds more than I did on the day I graduated. Big deal! I wouldn't trade the wrinkles, the stretch marks, the extra pounds, the gray hairs because they are the "mileage" of my life. Each one of those things tells a story. The story of ME. You are a wise woman to forget what SOCIETY tells us is good and to look to what GOD tells us is good! WE ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE BY GOD! And God don't make no junk!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love this post!! There are so many lies the world tells women, about how we need to look, about where our worth comes from. But God tells us the truth: we are infinitely valuable and fearfully and wonderfully made!
ReplyDeleteGood Morning Jackie! Interesting, thought provoking post. I am just 2 years short of 60. I can't even believe I am typing that number! But it is kind of scary. I know I think about the way I look but like you I am confident and happy where I am in my life. I think I worry more about health issues. I don't do Facebook because it just never appealed to me and I can't even keep up with blogging! I like your checklist and I think if it is ok I will be copying and pasting. It is a great way to put things in perspective!
ReplyDeleteThis is something I've often thought about, but you've said it sooo beautifully. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI love this!! I really like the song you mentioned, too. It is such a great perspective changer when I am starting to have a bad day. I learned one time "compare, despair" and that has really helped me out. No good ever comes of comparisons - either I am sad or prideful1
ReplyDeleteI am younger than you, so I can say that WOW, you are way more hip now than in your prom picture. But, maybe that was really hip back then... so maybe you've always been hip! :)
I'm 41 as well and I think you look fine. But what matters most is whats on the inside. I agree, facebook is a major time waster. I limit myself to a few days a week. Oh, and I was married in Eureka Springs too.
ReplyDeleteAge is creeping up fast on me and I am not wearing it well on some days.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and prayers,
andrea