It's always greener on the other side...not always...

A few weeks ago at a school party one of the Mom's asked me, "Did you go back to work?" I said, "Oh, yeah, I've been back to work for 3 years now but I only work in the office from 9am - 3pm and I also work from home." Her response was, "that is GREAT, I would LOVE to get out of the house and have hours like that and see other adults"!

Really?

Oh, I forgot to mention that she is a stay at home Mom to 4 kids and has always "seemed" like that is the life she adored. Maybe not.

Why do we want what other people have?

When I was working full-time after Kobe was born, all I could think about was staying at home with him. Well, I got to do that (for 4 years) until he started Kindergarten. For the most part, I really liked being a stay at home mom except for the strapped finances and the isolation. It wasn't the leisurely, carefree life that I had envisioned by any stretch! But it was a special time with Kobe that I am thankful that I got to experience. I did get out and meet other stay-at-home Moms (mostly through Kobe's parent co-op preschool) and that helped a lot with accepting where I was in my life at that time.

If I had known about blogging and if I had been able to see what other SAHM's across the country (and the world) were doing with their time at home it would have made all the difference for me.

However, guess what? About 2-3 years into the SAHM gig I started thinking about going back to work. Now, keep in mind that finances played a big role in this but there was something else too. I needed to have something that was all my own. A start and end to a project. A place to be everyday. You see, I just wasn't content to be home all of the time. What does this say about me and my role as a mother? I don't know. I LOVE my kids and I want to spend as much time with them as possible but I needed something else too.

I heard a quote once from the t.v. show, Judging Amy. Did you ever watch that? I loved that show! Anyway, there was an episode about Mom's working vs. staying at home and Maxine (Tyne Daly) says something like, " The best thing I ever did for my kids was go to work."

This quote is totally out of context, but the conversation was something like Maxine felt that she was a better mother when she was working. I kind of feel like that too. I feel stressed out a lot because I don't have time to the homemaking tasks that I do really enjoy, but overall I'm a better mother and I actually spend more quality time with the kids when I'm working outside the home. What I mean is that after working all day, I'm really ready to see them and hear what they've been doing all day and hang out with them. We have some really great evenings.

This is a REALLY controversial topic in some circles. I'm not trying to be controversial at all. This conversation I had at the school party just made me realize that we all do sometimes want what other people have and it's NOT always greener on the other side of the fence. I've been on both sides now and I can honestly say that there are pros and cons to both.

Right now, at this point in my life I'm better off working.